Trust – the building block of ANY relationship
Why is trust so important in ANY relationship? How about we start with the real basics, what is it?. The definition and example given in the dictionary is: firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.”relations have to be built on trust”. If relations have to be built on it then would stand to reason that without it there is no effective relationship?
What does trust or lack of it in a relationship feel like?
I am sure that each of you have relationships where you trust the other person, be it a friend, partner, family member or business associate. What does that feel like for you? Have you even thought about it? Or is it something almost intangible that you can’t quite put your finger on but you know is there? Maybe you even take it for granted as your so used to it. What about lack of trust? If your anything like me I bet you have felt that. It’s not a comfortable feeling is it? When someone says something but you doubt them, find yourself questioning what they say or their motives. That feeling of uncertainty and doubt can be quite draining of your time and energy. Most people will hold back from a relationship where there is a lack of trust for this reason, or walk away from it entirely.
We all have different approaches too trust. As children we naturally trust everyone. Have you seen how fast children make friends at a park or on holiday. However often as adults we can be a little slower in granting it to others. What ever your approach maybe, that is personal too you. Very generally those who have good experiences tend to be more trusting and those who have had trauma, experienced loss, been cheated or lied too, less so. As humans we are hardwired to see the good in others and this is because we need to interact to survive and be happy. Harvard Business school wrote a brilliant article about our natural instincts making it easier for trusting people to be fooled. It gives some great but very long tips on managing this here.
Integrity is key
To be worth of trust is not to be without flaw, however it is very much about being open and honest about those mistakes. That time your late because you stayed for an extra drink? Be honest about is as most people forgive a mistake vastly more than a lie. The thing is with not telling the truth be it too your Mum. best friend, partner or colleague is most people can pick up on it. That moment of doubt isn’t good. But getting caught out not telling the truth? Well the natural reaction is to question what else you’ve not been honest about! So speak up when your not perfect, we all make mistakes. We are all perfectly imperfect. Just don’t be tempted to hide behind even a well meaning lie….it could break that oh so essential trust and possibly even your relationship.
The Relationship School
We launch The Relationship School on 1st November which will be learning about all areas of relationships and supporting you with those. Members will get monthly content, group coaching and a great community to share your learning and experiences with. All for only £10 a month with no obligation to remain as a member! If you would like to be the first to know when enrolment opens fill out the short form and you will get your free self love calculator sent out.